Self abandonment comes up as a problem for people when they come from backgrounds where safety is a more critical issue than authenticity.
So, I intentionally take myself out one day a week.
Self-abandonment in caregiving: The paradox of security-seeking
↓ Causes of self-abandonment:
- Guilt and obligation → Fear of being seen as selfish
- Childhood patterns → Repeating learned behaviors
↓ Manifestations of self-abandonment:
- Neglecting personal needs → Physical and emotional exhaustion
- Loss of identity → Merging with caregiver role
↓ Self-repair strategies:
- Boundary-setting → Balancing care for others and self
- Embracing “NO” → Reclaiming personal power and time →
Example 1: “No, I can’t take on organizing mom’s medical records right now. I’m already managing his daily care and need time for myself.”
→ Example 2: ” I am going to take myself to the movie, and laugh for 2 hrs.”
↓ Embracing self-care isn’t selfish, it’s essential → Sustainable caregiving requires self-nurturing → Balancing self-care and care for others leads to healthier relationships
